Please help me find Fred!!!

Download the flyer and place it on every street light, sign post, telephone pole and bulletin board you see. Please.

Click Here to Download the Flyer!

Now, they got some subway sandwiches, which are the type of things I might enjoy a piece of, but they didn’t even offer me a bite! It’s ok, I wasn’t that upset. Besides, the beautiful Janelle gave me a kiss!!!!

She is so lovely! Her kiss made me totally forget about ever eating!!

What a great day!! I wish everyday could be as great as this! Of course, I didn’t know that this would be the last time I ever saw Ben and Janelle…..

Here I am at Busch!! Don't I look happy?

After my chauffeur gave me the tour of Busch, he took me shopping. It seems he needs food you have to buy in a store. I get by scrounging on whatever I can find. I have a leathery mouth and can eat practically any vegetation including thorns, dry vegetation and salt bush that other mammals avoid. Awful convenient for me, eh?

See all that food he needs? Show me a decent shrub and I'll be happy!

On our travels, I did get complimented by the bank teller, (I think she might have something for me!) and some random guy driving next to me. People are jealous!!!

Undoubtedly the future holds great things for me!!

HI! I'm Fred!! I live in a truck bed!!

Allow me to tell you a little bit about Fred. I can’t believe that we found Fred, but we did. I was picking up Janelle from her place, and I drove through the alley. This gem was just sitting there next to a dumpster. I was immediately drawn to him. I just wanted to throw him in my truck right then, but I wasn’t sure just what to do. I mean, I’m the guy that had a Christmas tree up in my house, decorated, for 4 years. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. So, I decided to see what Janelle said.

So when we get in the car, I just back up the alley. She asks whats up, and I tell her I have to show her something. She starts to turn around, and I say, “Don’t turn around (cause you’re gonna see my heart breakin’)” (OK, so I didn’t say the last part that time, but I have before, and I thought about it). Anyway, we pull up next to him, and I see she has the exact same immediate reaction I do. She asks why I haven’t already put him in my truck. So, in he goes.

Well, I just left him there for the day, then I showed up to my business meeting Tuesday morning and got asked about him during the meeting, where I explained the story to all of them. That is when I decided that Fred would live in the bed of my truck. Now I have decided to tell you all about his adventures. Someday Fred might get his own website, but for now, he’ll live here.

On Fred’s first full day in his new home, he got to take a trip to my brother Tim’s house where he met my nephew, Ahren, and nieces Lydia and Annie. Here are some photos I took to commemorate the event.

Ahren and Lydia posing with Fred

Lydia riding Fred

And possibly my favorite, Annie making her "happy" face, Ahren in his football stance, and Lydia just watching.

There will be more to come soon on the Great Adventures of Fred, so stay tuned!!

See that thing on the armrest?

The thing on the armrest is the cover, screws, and lightbulb for my cargo light. Here is where it normally is:

Notice the lack of bulb and cover? (Oh, and click the pic!)

Both of my windows were rolled up, and both doors were locked. Which means someone broke into my truck just to put that in there. Nothing was stolen. Was the light on and they wanted to save my battery? Was it on and bothering them? Is someone messing with me? Just a joke? Just a little nudge to let me know that someone could break in my truck at any time? Who knows? Not this guy.

If you know anything about this, please let me know. It has me somewhat confused and a little creeped out. In the meantime, I’m gonna fix that hole in the passenger door and get my padlock apparatus working again.

]]> http://636benjamin.com/2009/09/58/feed/ 1 http://636benjamin.com/2009/08/a-clean-floor/ http://636benjamin.com/2009/08/a-clean-floor/#comments Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:41:03 +0000 636benjamin http://636benjamin.com/?p=51 So, I started this process of cleaning my place. I don’t mean pick it up, I mean clean. It all started a few weeks ago, when I had an unpleasant experience with a small creature. It was just a bug, but enough to convince me that I needed to clean up. So, I’ve moved most of my furniture (all this with a lot of help from Janelle) and vacuumed behind things. Stuff has been dusted, picked up, scrubbed, put away, taken care of, you get the idea.

Well, my kitchen floor hadn’t been cleaned in any way for a long time. I’m thinking it’d been since I move in, so that floor had about 4 years of dirt on it. Now, I have vacuumed and swept in there, but no mopping or anything. So, I needed to go buy a mop, mop bucket, and some mop juice. I got all that stuff last week and couldn’t wait to get started. So yesterday I set off to get some stuff clean. Here is what I saw when I went to start:

As you can see, I didn't do this little test in Target.

Awesome. On a related note, does anyone have a use for a 10 quart bucket?

Lucky for me, my dad left some 5-Gallon buckets here, so here is my new mop bucket:

HHHHOOOOORRRRRRRAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

My floor really needed some cleaning. I did 3 rounds with soap, then a round of clean water. Then I let it dry then I vacuumed some stuff up. Then 1 more soap and 2 more clean rounds. They were all really dirty. Here is some evidence:

This was how dirty the water was after the first soap round.

This was the "clean" water. I have to do this more often.

So, that was part of what I accomplished yesterday. I also got some work done, the paying kind.

To wrap up, I will be mopping much more often, and no, I will not help you mop your dirty floor.

This is my old jar. That's not raspberry jelly, its fat.

So, anytime I cook ground meat, I always drain the fat into a jar. I use a jar, because you shouldn’t just wash it down the drain, and it’s too hot to just pour into the trash. Here is the new jar I’ve started:

There was a lot of fat in that round of beef and sausage.

So, that is what I do when I cook. I just for some reason thought this would be a great topic to blog about. I hope I didn’t gross you out. Thanks for reading!

This is not from myself. This is an article Ben Stein wrote… and I love it now. Read it. This is what our country has come to. We’re hypocrites. —-

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?
I don’t know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise’s wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It’s not so bad.
Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’ t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution, and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

**edit** The rest of this article was removed because it was pointed out to me that it was not from Ben Stein. Read all about it here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/confessions.asp

I realize that we can’t actually “ban” terms from the internet, but the people who are the worst offenders don’t know that. They will comply, I have no doubt.